The Best Way to Handle Anger

Woman lying on sofa reading laptop

Dusk on the River

I’ve seen a lot of clients recently wanting to find more positive ways to deal with their anger.

In the system of Reiki healing there are 5 Reiki precepts, or rules to live by. The first one is: “Do not bear anger, for anger is illusion.”

This precept reminds me of the Zen story told by Pema Chödrön, “Dusk on the River,” and offers an interesting perspective on anger.

A man is enjoying himself on a river at dusk.

He’s in a small boat. And suddenly he sees another boat coming down the river towards him.

It seems so nice that someone else is enjoying the river on a nice summer evening.

Then he suddenly realizes the boat is coming towards him faster and faster.

He begins to get angry and upset and shouts, “Hey, hey! Watch out! For heaven’s sake, turn aside. Don’t hit me!”

But the boat just comes faster and faster, right towards him. By this time he is standing in the boat, screaming and shaking his fists.
Then the boat smashes right into him.

He sees that it’s an empty boat.

The great thing about this story is that it offers many different meanings. How does this story resonate with you?

Try This

The Japanese have a saying:

“When there is an earthquake, go into the bamboo forest.”

Bamboo has long roots, so a bamboo forest is very stable. In our own lives when we experience anger, the more grounded or stable we are, the easier it is to wait and observe until the high emotion has passed before we try to deal with it.

That’s one of the many things I love about Reiki, Tao Hands, and Hypnosis whether you’re dealing with anger, anxiety, or basically any emotion that runs around in your head, these are wonderful ways to help ground you, making you feel secure and centered.

Next time you start to feel angry, investigate it. Anger is just energy; think of it as an opportunity to see what lies underneath.

For example, maybe someone isn’t acting the way you want them to, or maybe they’re acting in a way you don’t allow yourself to act. Or maybe getting angry is a defense mechanism, a way to protect yourself. Often the person you’re most angry with is yourself.

The precept above isn’t saying don’t get angry, but rather don’t hold on to it or suppress it. Instead of keeping it, notice it,  feel it, and then let it go. Otherwise, you carry it and research suggests anger can contribute to many illnesses.

Need support?

I work with high-achieving women all over the world through my virtual one-on-one Soul-Powered Breakthrough Program and we’ll use Distance Reiki, Tao Hands, and Hypnosis as part of my intuitive, multidisciplinary approach.

If you’re ready to STOP feeling anger and frustration, and finally move your life forward feeling calm, tap here to get started.

Related Posts:

Featured in Oprah Magazine

Burned out by an all-consuming job, Deborah Flanagan found balance and peace through the healing arts — and now she's helping others do the same.

Read The Press
Also Featured On
Mind Body Green Logo Oprah Magazine Logo Dr. Oz Logo
Your Tango Logo ABC Network Logo Black Enterprise Magazine Logo Z Living Logo
Please share your email to unlock my calendar. Thank you!
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.